Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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