I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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