I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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