I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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