I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
