so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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