That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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