Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
