Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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