I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
