I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
