Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
