The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
