How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
