We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
