you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
