I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
