sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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