the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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