guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize