I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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