you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
