My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
