I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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