Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
