omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
