I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
