I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
