i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
