Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think i got beer on your cat.
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