HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
