therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
did i just pee glitter
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
