Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
