Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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