I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
