I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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