getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
