1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
a search helicopter?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
