U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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