Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
