My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You can't motorboat a personality
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
