Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
