like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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