For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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