that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
