Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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