Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
