Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
