you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
