didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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