I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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